OK, so I’m feeling a little guilty this morning.
Contrary to Sunday’s elaborate web of posts here, here, here and here… Avitable is NOT having a baby. Nor is his wife. Right now.
You see, Amy and I have been the victim of a few Avitable pranks in the past. And after one such prank that involved questioning the sexual activity of Amy’s oldest child… well… we decided it was time for a little tit for tat revenge. (And by “we”, I’m pretty sure I mean to imply that the idea was all Amy’s initially. Which totally has to count for something, right?)
Avitable does not have kids. Avitable does not, currently, have any desire to have kids. Amy and I? Think that everyone should know the horrors share in the joy of parenthood. Especially that little bastard. So you could say we’ve been giving him a bit of a hard time about his DINK status lately (that’s dual-income-no-kids). You know, because people who have kids are automatically older and wiser and “get” life so much better than people who don’t. Right?
ANYway. At one point we thought it would be the ultimate payback if somehow we could get Avitable’s wife knocked up. Unfortunately, his wife is careful about what she drinks and despite numerous slips of the roofies, our operatives were not able to carry that plan out.
Next best thing - attack his blog. I mean shit, being pregnant on the Internet is pretty much the same thing, right??
So. We planned. We plotted. We studied his sentence structure and the casual way in which he and his wife communicated with one another. We took note of what time he normally posted and when he went to bed… leaving his blog ungaurded and vulnerible. It was the perfect plan…
And on Sunday at about 1:30 in the morning, all that planning finally came to a head! Wonderfully! Masterfully! We hooted and hollered and e-slapped each other on the back for a job well done!
And then YOU people ran over there and gushed your support.
Damn. You were all so encouraging. And heart warming. And… fuck… sincere.
Suddenly the ultimate prank on Avitable started to feel like this cruel scheme against you all, the kind, loving and INNOCENT people of the Internet. We were toying with your emotions. We were playing too close to home. We were setting you up for a rollercoaster ride we knew would end badly.
It was like that guy I dated during Prom Season all over again.
So, um, sorry. I completely underestimated 1) how believable our little prank would end up being (genius!! genius!!) and 2) your amazing capacity for awesomeness.
Shame on me. Bad, bad, Britt.
If only I could figure out how to use my powers for profit. Er, good. I meant good, I swear.
Because evil or not… that son of a bitch was a logistical MASTERPIECE!!!!
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That was high-larious. I was a little late in my reading, so I knew it was a hoax, but funny nonetheless to read the comments and feel all smug and superior for a second - but just for a second.
June 18th, 2007 at 9:43 am
Bwaaahaaahaaahaaaaaaa!!!!
I wish I’d seen his face when he got up the next morning and logged on! :thumbsup:
June 18th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Well, thanks to your inability to spell (see this current post for another example), several people saw through the facade.
I’m fucking impressed though. And yes, I still love you lots and lots.
June 18th, 2007 at 10:23 am
I read it after it had been deemed a hoax. That did not stop me from deciding you are a genius. Along with Amy.
June 18th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Hoax or not that was awesome. Linking them all together, genius!
June 18th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Oh honey, I am SO glad I am not Catholic - and that Adam is finally giving you the credit you deserve for your misspelling of lieu - which as you can see - I can spell it just fine when I am not exhausted and counting on you. Of course, I don’t see you feeling guilty about making a dear friend look stupid. Where’s the love, Brittini?
In regards to the prank - it was genius and brilliant. It definitely took both of our talents to pull off and as much as I’d like to… I don’t feel guilty. But, that is mostly because Adam is such a good sport and complimented our work (while making a giant point of your inability to spell correctly and blaming it on me) so much!
Go us!!!
June 18th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Personally, I think you guys knocked it out of the ballpark! Pure Genius!
June 18th, 2007 at 11:12 am
It WAS a masterpiece! Still, I am sure you CAN make it work in the near future. Back to the drawing board, girls! I am sure there must be a prank that’ll do it!
June 18th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Wow. I feel like a complete ass. Yikes.
June 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
You guys did a really really good job. Don’t feel guilty, it wasn’t done maliciously. At least not towards the readers. Congratulations on a perfectly (except for Lieu) executed plan.
June 18th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
ADW: well thank you
Sam: I know, me too…
avitable: i’m a much better speller on paper. I swear.
themuttprincess: yeah, we’re like an evil genius duo, lol
Fogspinner: the genius is in the details :-D
AmyD: Dude, I TOLD YOU I felt bad about that. And I copped to it IMMEDIATELY on his blog.
metalmom: thank you, thank you
DutchBitch: I dunno, I may be too guilt ridden for future pranks
Rich | Championable:
I know, I am SOOOO sorry. Your comment was what put me over the edge. It was so wonderful, and I just felt SOOO bad.
Your faith in me is completely shattered now, isn’t it?
(and for what it’s worth, I don’t think you should feel like an ass, that comment showed how WONDERFUL you are and why you rock in my book!)
Amanda: ah the road to hell and good intentions and what not, right?
June 18th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I thought it was genius! And he deserved it after the April Fools joke he played on you.
June 18th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I was late reading it too, but thought it was quite funny none the less.
June 18th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
You should never have said sorry.
Now you have shown him a sign of weakness.
He will use it to his advantage.
You are doomed!!
June 18th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I have to say, ladies, it was completely brilliant. I almost even bought it for a minute. It was very, very well done!
June 18th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
All this backtracking is well and good but I can see through the game and I WANT TO KNOW - what names does he have picked out?
June 18th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Thor
Pubert
Sqlyxrrs
Kal
June 18th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
allRIGHT then. Now what if it’s a boy?
June 18th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
She-Ra
Douchella
Cuntstance
Tits McGee
June 18th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
See? Can’t fool me… I knew they were expecting!
June 18th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
In hindsight, this was a hilarious prank.
June 19th, 2007 at 3:53 am
It was a GREAT prank. I just got caught in the sincerity crossfire. There are WAY worse things, dudeness.
I am SO sleepy right now.
June 19th, 2007 at 4:40 am