OMG I am late today. Between broken Internet and working and blah blah (insert shit you don’t care about here), I haven’t been online really since Thursday. I know!!
Thank God for WWMBD…
Hello Miss Britt,
I loved your Vagina Chronicle a few weeks back, by the way, you had me laughing my head off. I think it was one of your best posts. Good work.
Have you considered altering it your WWMBD a tiny bit to Ask Britt’s Vagina? I say this because you could soooo pull this off in a tasteful yet funny way. You are a person with morals and values and a good swear word vocabulary so it would be perfect. If anyone ever read my blog, I’d want to do it.
Here’s my question:
Dear Britt’s Vagina (or Aunt Flo or whatever you want to name it),
My husband has a four day weekend coming up and he has his heart set on taking us to the middle of freaking nowhere to go camping and fishing. How can I get him to reconsider and take me someplace with a full service spa in it instead? It would also be a bonus it he thought it was his idea, and not because I threatened divorce.
Thank you,
Pamper vs. Nature
Dear Pampered,
Ah the tricky business of manipulating our husbands…
First and foremost, I’d try chucking that whole idea. You don’t have to threaten divorce, just TELL HIM that you had a couple different ideas. SHOW HIM with brochures, blah blah blah. And? Wrack your fucking brain for even ONE reason why HE would enjoy himself more in a spa setting than the middle of nowhere.
Put yourself in his shoes. What is the benefit for him to scrap his plans in exchange for yours? Thoughtfully, in a not naggy, bitchy ass way, point those benefits out to him.
And if that doesn’t work?
Well, I try not to use The Secrets unless absolutely necessary. But if you simply must find yourself in a position to get a man to do something he’s not gung-ho about, remember the Old Faithfuls.
Tears.
Booze.
Sex.
In that order.
Good luck!!
Miss Britt
P.S. And that vagina thing? Not gonna happen. I can talk ABOUT my vagina, but I just don’t think I can get into an actual, real life Talking Vagina. But thanks. :-)
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Damn - this is one of those weirdo situations I find myself in wherein I say “Why would anyone want to go to a sissy ass spa when they could be out in nature camping and fishing?”
Sorry honey - I’m trying to think if you were adopted and I just forgot.
:roll:
May 21st, 2007 at 7:59 am
Why would anyone want to go camping when you can sit in a comfy hotel room, order room service, and go hang out in a hot tub?
:mrgreen:
May 21st, 2007 at 8:28 am
Why in the world would anyone want to go somewhere and spend the weekend indoors all weekend. I can do THAT at home. Fortunately, the Sigo likes camping and fishing.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:59 am
I am just wondering why anyone would WANT to go camping. I can not think of a single reason. I prefer working utilites and a place I can go and order rounds of booze and have my food delivered ALREADY cooked.
Sigh.
Good advice, and good luck P vs N.
May 21st, 2007 at 10:05 am
ok my idea of camping is totally in an RV with water, electricity, stove, fridge, bed, etc;
tents, sleeping bags, …
um…..not gonna happen
lol
May 21st, 2007 at 10:16 am
The real trouble with camping is that it is MORE work than just staying home. That’s not a vacation to me - roughing it… blech. Basically, it’s all the work of being home (cooking, cleaning etc.) just with MORE dirt and bugs. No thank you.
May 21st, 2007 at 10:26 am
Camping can be a lot of fun! I love being outdoors camping, besides if you are by a lake or river you can get the mud bath for a whole lot cheaper than at a spa! :grin:
May 21st, 2007 at 11:01 am
I am perfectly content to spend an hour or two outside- perhaps walking between stores, perhaps on an outdoor patio drinking martinis, perhaps perusing the wares at a farmer’s market.
Sleeping on the hard ground with bugs and dirt?
No thank you.
May 21st, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Please reconsider the whole talking vagina bit. I think you should do a vagina vlog. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
I will make you a vagina hand puppet out of a sock and some kind of felt. Maybe I will even add some embellishments if I am feeling really creative.
That’s how much I want you to make this a regular feature.
May 21st, 2007 at 2:17 pm
If anyone could pull off a talking vagina it would be Britt.
And, maybe you could do a puppet reenactment of the lost tampon, hmm?
BTW - are you ever going to cop to which were true and which were false from last Friday?
May 21st, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Mist1 skeers me sometimes…I think it was the “embellishments” part that made me throw up in my mouth a little
May 21st, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I guess it can also depend on what nothing you’re in the middle of. I like camping more in NM than I did in IL., because the wilderness is wilder and the scenery more scenic. The sad thing is, I got to go camping more in IL. because I knew more people who liked to camp and the Dead were still touring.
May 21st, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Yeah, I’d like to know which are true and which are false as well. :mrgreen:
May 21st, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Blech - camping - not fun at all.
May 21st, 2007 at 10:11 pm
I have never, and will never, understand camping. My idea of “roughing it” is a hotel with no room service.
A lot of people at work are campers. They are also idiots. Nice idiots, but idiots nonetheless.
You would have enjoyed the last radio show. MUCH talk about Iowa!
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 am
I cannot wait for warmer weather down here so we CAN go camping. In a tent not an RV, thats not camping people!
I would chose camping over spa in a heart beat, but then again, I only come here for the talking vagina’s, and now that that has been discontinued…
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:27 am