I’ve read a lot of “self improvement” books over the years. In fact, I’ve read enough that I think I am now qualified to not have to actually read the new ones that come out. I am confident that a brief synopsis that I can pick up from the book jacket, asking others who actually have bought and paid for it, and Oprah - should do just find.
And that’s why I’m not buying The Secret (holy fuck, it’s a movie? I didn’t know it was a movie! Wikipedia kicks ass)
Besides, the author herself says that she was “inspired” to write the book/make the movie after reading other guru-books (many of which I’ve already fucking read myself anyway).
ANYway. Not the point of the post. I’m getting there. Seriously.
Brief synopsis of The Secret & The Law Of Attraction, by Britt:
- What you think about you bring about, which means you HAVE to think positive. Because if you’re not thinking GOOD thoughts, you’re thinking BAD thoughts… and you’ll bring down some wicked bad shit on your life.
- Think Positively in the present. In other words, not “I will be a world famous porn star”. But rather “I am a world famous porn star!” Your brain basically hears that as a command, looks around and goes “oh shit, I’m supposed to be a world famous porn star!!!” and does what it needs to to reconcile reality with that command. I mean, basically.
- Act as if. I just got this little tidbit from my mom, who actually is reading the book. In other words, once you’ve decided on what you WANT to happen, have faith that it WILL happen, and just go on about your life “as if”.
Heh. This has proven for some interesting scenarios. (This is also the point of the post, in case you missed it)
“Act as if.” I am putting out the “my house is sold” vibe pretty hard core right now. In order to really do it with gusto, I decided to “act as if”. Unfortunately, it seems my current mortgage company has not read The Secret. Much as I tried to explain to them that I was no longer the owner of the house and therefore not responsible for that because the proceeds from the sale paid that mortgage OFF…. they want their money. By the first.
Unenlightened fucks.
So, I thought, maybe I need to think bigger.
“Act as if.” I am a world famous, hugely rich and instantly recognizable… uh… something. Doesn’t matter what. Rich, famous. I’m like Paris Hilton - no one knows how she got there or what she does, she just is. I think I need to work on my pampered celebrity routine. Because the lady behind the JCPenny’s counter in BFE Iowa was not amused by me. At all. Nor was she willing to “just send me a bill honey, you know who I am” (picture half-hazard toss of shopping bag over shoulder as I flounce… ala Julia Roberts).
The bitch soooo doesn’t get thinking big, obviously.
I feel like it’s possible I may, maybe, just may be missing something here with The Secret. I guess it has been a while since I’ve read my latest Napoleon Hill book. I guess I could go out and buy myself a copy.
Perhaps I should just “act as if” my mom has already finished hers and “borrow” it.
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I’ll just act as if you already showed me your boobs, and start selling the rights to the porno we made.
May 10th, 2007 at 7:49 am
When I acted “as if” Scarlett Johansson was my wife I got arrested for stalking.
May 10th, 2007 at 8:49 am
Have you seen this? I read this earlier this week. The author attempted to do this very thing for two months.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:18 am
The biggest difference between you and Paris Hilton is that it’s much more difficult to find pictures of your vagina on the internets. Not impossible, just more difficult.
@Fyre - I ♥ Emily Yoffe. She’s one of my favorite writers.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:58 am
LOL! I have heard about the Secret and frankly it seems kinda cultish. BUT, if it helps you sell your house and eat your stir fry then go ahead girl, get yours =)
May 10th, 2007 at 10:02 am
I think I would aspire to be someone a little less on the verge of jail. :P
I think I’d like to act “as if” I’m married to Jensen Ackles and I actually get paid to sit around and read blogs all day.
May 10th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Hmmmmm. Interesting concept. I am going to start living “as if” I am a millionaire. Ya think that my bills will get paid that way?
No?
Well I am gonna try anyways.
May 10th, 2007 at 11:37 am
Oh for fuck’s sake I’ll hurry up and read the damn book, OK?
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
May 10th, 2007 at 11:42 am
My father in law gave us a copy of The Secret. (the movie) I actually liked it and bought the book.
May 10th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
I’m still stumped at the idea of you shopping at JCPenney… :shock:
May 10th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
I very seriously love you for this post. You effin rock!!
May 10th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I have never read a single self-help book, but the more I think about it, the more I think I should WRITE one… :idea:
May 10th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Paris Hilton *scoff* as if.:???:
May 10th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
so I have a dream. It’s not a big dream in my mind, but it’s my dream. My dream, and I hope you don’t think it’s stupid, is to spend the rest of my days traveling around the continent in a converted bus, just seeing what’s out there. I do it to some degree now, but my travels are punctuated by periods in which I must stay in one place long enough to find work and save money to be able to move on.
My wife is also reading “the Secret” and she, too, has told me a lot about conceptualizing and living “as if.” So far it seems to me that the only “secret” is how reading that book will allow me to reach my goal. I mean, I can act as if I already live in my bus conversion and leave work today, drive to the best campground in town (where all the snowbirds park their million dollar coaches), and pick the bus of my dreams to walk into, but something tells me the so-called “actual owners” will suddenly “act as if” I’m a nutjob and call the police, who will “act as if” I’m breaking the law and cart my ass off to jail. So… my question is… How do these principles translate into ACTUALLY reaching your goals. I can “act as if” my wife wants nothing more than to have a threesome with me and Tawny Cable, but that ain’t gonna make it so.
May 10th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
avitable: that’s fine - you just better act as if you’re giving me 60%
RW: really? I got to dance on Prince’s stage. Maybe you’re not thinking hard enough. :mrgreen:
FyreGoddess: LOL, it’s a hysterical article, and she had some valid points - although I wonder if her cynicism had any affect?
Joefish: if you find pictures of my vagina online, I want to know about it. Because I have yet to see a check in the mail.
evilynmo: thank you - I’ll try just about anything once. Well, except anal, of course.
Princess of the Universe: hmmm… good point. Britney? No. Lindsey? Damn.
All the good celebrity slack off role models are ruined!
themuttprincess: Um, technically, I think millionaires still pay their bills. Or at least, have someone who does that for them.
Mom: SEEEE!! It’s working already!!
heather: I broke down and bought the book today too :mrgreen:
AmyD: oh you totally know I made that up, lol
Bri: really?? why??
Mr. Fabulous: AND you have a built in paying audience
ScottsdaleGirl: I’m confused :shock:
Kelly: Um, I’m not sure what to say to that. Other than - Jail Is Bad.
May 10th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Why? Your description of the way Oprah talks. And sarcasm. I really like sarcasm.
May 10th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Right now I’m acting “as if” all my work is done and I have time to catch up on many of your previous posts.
May 11th, 2007 at 7:35 am
so I AM already a rock star!
SWEEEEET!!!
May 11th, 2007 at 10:25 am
“What you think about you bring about, which means you HAVE to think positive. Because if you’re not thinking GOOD thoughts, you’re thinking BAD thoughts… and you’ll bring down some wicked bad shit on your life.”
Like sending myself to the cornfield?
This is actually nothing new, self-help books and sales training manuals have been saying this (and more recently adding “daily affirmations”) for the better part of a century.
May 11th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
I went through a stage of reading those books too and I remember trying all those things you’ve mentioned. Actually, I’m still not famous so maybe I should re-read them. Motherfucker!! Why does it have to be so much work??
May 11th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
That stuff takes so much mental energy & while I think (not positive) I’ve tried it before…if I did, I would have wondered the whole time if I was wasting my time…which probably made me waste my time, unintentionally.
When I see your beeUtifull vagina on a Hollywood billboard, I’ll buy the book.
May 11th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
OK, well, maybe the corollary should be: “Act as if, but don’t be stupid about it.” So:
- Have a plan for how you are going to get where you are going
- Be consistent and realistic, i.e. don’t delude yourself. This is a big one. I think people read about “as if”-ness and think it’s an instruction to be delusional. No, be realistic.
- Be unstoppable, but be flexible.
Disclaimer: I haven’t read the book. However, I am the leading provider of multimedia album downloads worldwide. If you want to see “as if”-ness, surf on by. You can see what is there now. It doesn’t look like much, depending on your perspective of course. So, come back again next year and see where things are. Now, you may notice I haven’t defined what a “leading provider” is. This is where the “as if”-ness steps in.
May 14th, 2007 at 1:33 pm