What says Holy Fuck It’s Finally Friday And I Am Getting My Ass Outta Here But Have No Time To Come up With an Original Post, like a meme?

But this, my friends, is a different kind of meme.  It’s a PERSONALIZED meme.  I mean, er, more personalized than your average meme.  This meme was written just for me.

OK, technically.  Here’s how it works.  I saw this at Avi’s site.  It’s an interview.  If you decide you want to partake, you ask the person to interview you (i.e. I asked Avi to interview me).  He sends me five questions.  I answer.  Got it?

Ok… here’s what Avi wanted to know…

1.  Will you want to cuddle after sex?

Probably not.  But don’t take it personally.  I like my space.  Sometimes I don’t mind cuddling.  If I’m in the mood.  But it’s all about me.  And my mood.

And the best part?  My husband will swear to the validity of these statements.

2.  Tell me about the sale of which you are the proudest.

Is this a ploy to get me to tell the story of the blind woman in a wheel chair that bought car insurance from me?  Because I am so not telling that story.

The sale of which I am the proudest… hmm… ah yes.  When I worked in radio my boss was kind of a prick.  An arrogant, condescending, chauvinistic prick. (no, really, this was my last job)  And I had made a little game of “what can Britt do that little prick boy couldn’t?”

There was a client - a bowling alley actually - that he told me wouldn’t ever buy “dick”.  They don’t “do radio”.  Never have.  Never will.

Not only did they “do” radio, but they signed a long term contract with me.  Not only did they sign a monthly contract, but they became the largest local direct client on the air each month.  Not just MY largest client - the entire station’s largest non-agency client.

And also?  They cancelled their contract a week after I quit.

The lesson?  Do. Not. Challenge.  Nor Fuck With.  Miss Britt. :-)

3.  Why are you so fascinated with shoes but so horrified by feet?

Why are shoes good? Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good?  It just is!

You put your little toesies in them and they love you and call you pretty names and make you feel better than the annoying girl at the next desk with ugly slipper-like shoes.

But feet?  Well, feet are only good for one thing.

Shoes. 

4.  What type of law would you have practiced?

Oh, you mean had I not given up my full ride to NYU?  Had I not chickened out at the last minute and stayed in Iowa to go a little state university?  And had I not put the cherry and whip creme and nuts on top of the Wasted Potential Sundae and gotten knocked up freshman year?

Well, in that case, I would have either practiced Constitional law, or criminal law as a defense attorney.  My absolute DREAM would have been to work for the ACLU.

I don’t like stupid people.  I’m not friends with the under dog.  I have absolutely no desire to sit among the poor and the meek.  And I have NO respect for someone who has no respect for the rights of people around them.

I do, however, passionately believe in EVERYONE’s rights.  Period.  I believe in principles.  I believe in fair and good and justice and black & white and precedence.

So. Heh.  That’s what I would have done. 

5.  What, out of everything in the world, makes you the happiest?

Prince.  Specifically, Prince saying “what’s mah NAME, baby?”

The kids are pretty cool too.  When they hug you.  And smile. And gush at you a lot.  But mainly are doing no talking or whining or grunting or crying or poking at one another.

But especially, Prince.

The end. So that’s the meme.  If you want to play along…

Here are the rules if you want to keep it going:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (And you can limit it to only the first five people.  Actually, you can do whatever the fuck you want, really)

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Posted in Miss Britt - stories, memes and random facts about me