Today the Three Stooges are featuring a Round Robin of fiction. Here’s how it works…
Read Part 1 of today’s story at Avitable’s blog.
then hop on over to read Part 2 at Amy’s Musings.
And then, and only then, you can read part 3 here.
No. Seriously. You have to go over to the other two blogs first or you will not be able to truly appreciate my brilliance. And who wants that?
Did you do it? Are you caught up? Are you ready?
Clusterfucked: The End
“Fuck.”
Lynn slammed the book with next week’s scripts shut, utterly disgusted with her co-authors.
She stood up and began pacing back and forth across her carpet, mentally racing between fury and complete bewilderment. What the hell where they trying to do to her? Her team of writers were usually so reliable, so in tune with what she was thinking herself. Surely they couldn’t have left her with this mess on purpose.
Or had they?
It was no secret that the adult film industry was extremely competitive. Sure, you could turn out dime a dozen Suck N’ Fucks that were destined to end up in a bin full of VHS tapes in the sleazy back room of a Family Video. That part was easy.
But they had always been better than that. Lynn and her two partners were on the verge of establishing themselves as an empire in the industry – complete with accolades and awards and international distribution deals and, most importantly, money. Lots and lots of money.
The success had always been so much sweeter because Lynn was able to share it with two women. Men were always running the pornography industry, while women usually found themselves stuck in front of the camera. But not these three. Together Lynn and her partners had taken their experience as “actresses” and plowed it into a multi-million dollar production house. They had become a well oiled machine. Every project they had touched had been golden.
Until now.
Now her partners were sending her manuscripts with blood and guts and… action. And not the kind of action their movies had become famous for. Ninja rolls? Daring freeway runs? How in the hell did they expect Andy, their biggest male star, to pull this shit off? Had they completely forgotten about the pages and pages of contracts they’d poured over together – all of which expressly stated that there would be no physical or strenuous activity? Fuck. Everyone in the industry knew that Andy Avitable was a lazy son of a bitch. But they had to keep him around because, quite frankly, his was the most popular penis in town right now.
Andy would never go for this. And her partners knew that. They had to have. Instinctively, Lynn knew that something was off. This was more than just artistic expression and the opportunity to try something new.
The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach told her it was more. This was personal. This was a deliberate attempt to fuck her over.
Because this time, it was Lynn’s name on the line. And most of her money. She had pushed for the deeper plot. She had wanted to take their films to the next level – a feature length with character development and actual cinematography. And Amanda and Avril had gone along, eventually. But only on the condition that Lynn took most of the risk, and all of the heat if it failed miserably.
In short, she was responsible for turning this murder mystery, blood soaked scene into something that would actually make people want to have sex.
“You can do this Lynn, you can do this.” The mantra played over and over again as she stared at the blank page. “You can do this…”
A flash. Yes. She could do this. The idea was sketchy, but she could pull it off. It would need work here, and more detail there. The pieces of the story swirled around in her mind like brightly colored puzzle pieces and she plucked them from the air, fitting them together one by one as a larger picture formed.
Lynn sat down at her keyboard to write. She could do this. She could take an action flick and the premise for a who-done-it mystery and turn it into something purely pornographic. Hell, she was famous for it!
As she stretched out her fingers over the keys, prepared to save her own ass, she chuckled to herself. The solution was as old as sex itself…
“Sadie’s heart thumped. She hadn’t been prepared for him to be so naked… or so… enticing. Her breath quickened as she noticed the look on his face. Men were so obvious, and predictable. And he was no different.
It was clear – what with the nudity and all, and the ridiculous grin he was flashing her – her mark had a thing for women in authority.”
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Very nice. I heard boomchickawowow music in my head while I read the last lines. :mrgreen:
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:42 am
Very cool. You guys should do stuff like this more often!
April 23rd, 2007 at 7:06 am
Excellent. Very clever ending, Miss. Britt.
As Avitable said, i could hear the porno bassline start up at the end.
April 23rd, 2007 at 7:32 am
Make it stop! I can’t get the picture of a naked Avitable out of my head! Make it Stop!
April 23rd, 2007 at 7:53 am
Andy Avitable, hehehehe. His total fantasy to be Ron Jeremy is complete! Nice job, Britt. You, Amy, and Avi need to write books together. For real. And do the internet show. And take over the world.
April 23rd, 2007 at 8:42 am
Aw, what they hell?! You stopped right at the good part! Guess I’ll just have to finish it myself. I’ve got all kinds of good ideas along these lines. Of course, we are talking Avi here… so it might stretch the bounds of decency, but I’ll figure something out. Sort of Stephen King meets Nina Hartley. :shock::eek::shock::eek:
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:02 am
avitable: turn your radio down
Mr. Fabulous: thanks :mrgreen:
Paticus: well those two did go out of their way I think to give me something difficult to “wrap up”! lol
WannaBeTanked: well as long as he’s already there… picture him skipping too. I think everyone should share in the emotional trauma.
Poppy: lol, thank you - I figure since I refuse to show him my boobs, making him a pseudo porn star was the least I could do!
Kelly: well I was given a “guideline” for how long it could be - and this is already about twice that!
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:30 am
Very nice ending!
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:41 am
that was excellent, guys! I can hear the sexy porn music cueing up RIGHT NOW!
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:46 am
You refused to show him your boobs and yet you’re going to show the rest of us? (At least that’s what HE said. :razz: ) I like how you smacked down the story into a script, totally JR!!!
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 am
And this post plus sake bomb have forced me to add you to my Google feed reader so that I read you every day instead of just when Avi tells me to. So expect me to totally go nuts in your comments too, cuz I’m crazy.
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:43 am
Wickedly BRILLIANT!!!!! The porn twist was PERFECT!!!!
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
Awesome. You really should do this more often. Next time you get to start. Isn’t that how it works?
April 23rd, 2007 at 11:05 am
That’s not radio. That’s the video you and I made.
April 23rd, 2007 at 11:24 am
I definitely enjoyed the ending…very creative.
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:14 pm
This is like a game of telephone. Bitch on a pension, suck my dong!
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:34 pm
It just occurred to me, for being an innocent Catholic girl, you sure learned a lot about the porn industry in one weekend with Avi…
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Well, that’s why her new nickname is DP Cumguzzler.
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:40 pm
themuttprincess: thank you :mrgreen:
webmiztris: maybe it’s time for me to look into an autoplay feature here…
Poppy: yes, well, you have to keep Avi at bay a little or he just gets out of hand
AmyD: thank you - the image of burning calves on a hot runner inspired me
Fogspinner: next time I think I should insist on it! lol
avitable: did you edit out your voice saying “i swear this pill will help your headache”?
Meagan: thank you - I don’t get to be creative very often lately!
Joefish: heh, so you weren’t impressed then?
AmyD: well, to be fair, most of it I learned in the stack of required reading he sent home with me
avitable: woah. no. i most certainly did not agree to cumguzzler. :shock:
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Of course I did. And when my voice says “Don’t worry about the fizzy drink - it’s just carbonation.”
So Cumguzzler is out, but DP is okay? I’m fine with that.
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Thanks for the great read!
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:16 pm
You are certainly welcome. I really liked the turn you gave it at the end. I think your ending made the story work!!
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:33 pm
This is getting very advanced for me.
April 23rd, 2007 at 5:14 pm
WOW. Good story the three of you. Totally didn’t expect the story to go the way you took it. Also didn’t expect you to go the porn route before Avi. Did you have a freaky friday experience while visiting him??
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:30 pm
That was great, plus I got three new blogs to peruse.
April 24th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Very funny … kind of like Whose Line is it Anyway in prose.
Good finish too … as I read down I was glancing at the scrollbar and thinking ‘how the hell does this get finished before the end of the page’ !
Do more ! Please.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:28 am
[...] Amy, Britt and I had a threesome . . . of writing. We wrote a round-robin 3-part story that was very funny and really highlighted each of our individual writing strengths. It's something we'll definitely be trying again. [...]
April 29th, 2007 at 1:01 am