Things My Husband “Handled” Yesterday:
Got up and got ready for workGot up when I woke him up- Went to work
- Picked up kids
Made dinnerReheated leftovers for kids
Things I Handled Yesterday:
- Obviously got myself up - this shouldn’t even count
- Also got my husband and two kids up. Dressed two kids, fed two kids. Got oldest kid out the door and on his way to school on time.
- Babysitter calls 15 minutes before time to walk out the door. Babysitter is sick. Find backup childcare for youngest and after school care for oldest. Take her to daycare.
- Call plumber. Apparently our sewage pipe or something has been backing up. Apparently it has been backing up for a WEEK, and someone has had trouble “figuring out what to do”. So… since I have known about it for less than 12 hours and clearly no nothing about pipes but DO know that sewage in the basement? not good… call plumber.
- Went to work - because, yeah, I work full time too. Do you think maybe I could borrow your “but Oh My God I Have To Work” t-shirt for a day?
- While at work, get call from school that oldest decided not to ride bus to emergency backup after school solution center. I’m a half an hour away and he’s sitting in The Office. And somehow… I fix that. By phone. And get him to where he needs to be until someone can make it home from work.
- On the drive home, I attempt to follow up with plumber - who did not appear to show up, and I am now getting fax tones when I call.
- Laundry - specifically, children’s coats because Oh My God where did you find a puddle of cat pee to roll around in??
Major Decisions Made By My Husband Recently:
- I can’t think of a single one. Unless you count parking his truck in front of mine so that I can’t get out when I go to leave at 5:30 in the morning. Because this decision was almost very major. Life changing major. Suffocated while you sleep, major.
Major Decisions Made By Me Recently:
- To be fair, I can’t think of a single one here either. Because I stopped keeping track. Because it’s become less about making decisions and more about constantly putting out every cocksuckin’ fire that comes along on a seemingly constant basis.
“What exactly is my problem”?
Here it is. Once again. With bullet points. Because me saying over and over and over again that I need another GROWN UP and pointing out example after example after example seems to be falling on completely deaf ears.
I don’t need someone to handle things. I want someone to share in the responsibility. Another set of shoulders to carry the burden. Another brain to carry around the constant list of Things I Better Remember To Take Care Of And Someday Maybe Even Make Forward Progress On.
I don’t want to be a grown man’s mother. Or secretary. Or personal assistant. Or Day Planner.
I want to be able to say “take care of this please”, and trust that someone will. Even better? Not having to say “take care of this please” because OMG THE OTHER ADULT MAY ACTUALLY NOTICE THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF.
So please, for Valentine’s Day this year, can someone please, please, please…
send me a wife.
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I would love to send you me as long as the day after Valentine’s Day you can come to my house…because I have been asking for help from the other grown up in this house (and calling him a grown up is a long shot now) and I get nothing! So…if you do the dishes…I’ll do the rest!
Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow!
February 13th, 2007 at 7:55 am
Hmmm… do alot of kids bother you? Cause I’m pretty much available.
February 13th, 2007 at 8:43 am
I can’t send you a wife, but I’ll be your bitch if you want.
February 13th, 2007 at 9:09 am
A wife? are you sure you want all that moaning, groaning, and bitching? Someone saying hey can’t you help me with this shit here? When all you are trying to do is enjoy a little video game time?
Come on you don’t want a wife! But you should get a house keeper!!!
February 13th, 2007 at 9:36 am
I think I would make an excellent wife, although, I would prefer that you not check my references.
February 13th, 2007 at 9:46 am
YOU: I’m going to need someone on a slightly more permanent basis. :-(
Jennine Well, in general alot of kids DO bother me. Unless someone else is taking care of them.
I’m assuming we’d put that in the fine print?
avitable: DEAL!
debkitty: don’t make me strangle a beautiful pregnant woman right before Valentine’s Day… :twisted:
Mist 1: I’m not interested in references if you’re not interested in pay.
February 13th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Sorry I don’t know how to do that:) You are loved and appreciated!!
February 13th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Wait. Does being your bitch involve sex? Or at least boobage? Because if not, I might have to reconsider.
February 13th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I have no solutions but I do have my own shit to bring to the pity party. My husband told me that if he only does TWO things ALL DAY, until 10pm at night, he has still DONE SOMETHING and BUSTED HIS ASS doing it.
I wish I had that excuse.
Oh, I couldn’t
*do the laundry
*clean the bathroom
*check the kids’ homework
because I was doing ONE thing and it took me ALL DAY.
February 13th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
This was a GREAT fucking post. I really have nothing else to say other than that.
February 13th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Yup, single is sounding better and better. Hey Brittski, you are welcome to my world for an escape anytime.
M’kay?
February 13th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
awww, sorry you’re going through that. I knew a few people who were in the same boat. :( *hugs*
February 13th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Paco: Jared should really send YOU flowers for all the times you’ve saved his life with a last minute comment like that.
avitable: boobage can be arranged. And what do YOU bring to this relationship? (NOT balls!)
AmyD: You can always BYOS to my party, as long as you come.Rich: are you being serious??:???:
Wicked H: don’t tempt me. I was just discussing taking short road trips in the name of “investigating other places to live” earlier this evening.
Divalicious: Um, thanks :mrgreen:
February 13th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Mind-blowing oral sex.
February 13th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
I’ll be your bitch. I love to clean things and I’m a mom so I know all about taking care of multiple things at once. I think we’d make a cute couple.
February 13th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Avi: What time can you be here? (all contracts, etc. etc. will be enforced in Iowa)
Heather: you can multi-task and make me look cute? You’re hired!
February 14th, 2007 at 7:32 am
I’m only effective in Florida. It’s too cold in Iowa to work properly.
February 14th, 2007 at 7:51 am