I know.  Shocked, aren’t you?

At least I’m consistent.

Anyways, I’ve been nominated for my very first Blog Award.

How freaking cool is that? Lemme tell you how cool.

There are ten categories in which one can be nominated.  Let me start by telling you which categories I was not nominated in:

Best Humor - nope.  I always considered myself quite funny.  In fact, in my house I am the official Funny Judge.  I have a hat, and a button, and a sash that says Funny Judge.  The title has afforded me much privilege and lee-way when it comes to determining if a comment is “shitty and worthy of an apology” or “shitty, but funny, and therefore apology exempt.”  If my husband finds out that I do not, in fact, have the Best Humor - I’m screwed.

Happiest Blog - huh.  I’m very fucking happy.  Seriously.  3 days out of every month I am walking on freaking AIR people.  Damn.

Best Writing.  Harrumph. Indeed.  So I guess you all are buying into that line of crap about ‘excessive use of profanity is a sign of a poor vocabulary’, hmmmmm?  Best Writing.  I could be a Dickens fricken prodigy!

Best Site Design.  So, now you don’t think I’m pretty either?

Most Inspiring.  If this blog has not inspired you to quit your jobs and devote your lives to pursuing Prince tickets - well, I don’t know what to say to you people.  Really.

Blogger You’d Most Like To Meet.  Now, I’m hurt.  Seriously.  I’m really a wonderful person in real life.  And fun.  And outgoing.  And gracious.  And sometimes I pay!!!

Most Thought Provoking.  Come on, you’ve never been provoked to think to yourself, “is she fucking SERIOUS??”  Because that totally counts.

Woman Power - Best Representative of Women!  What?  You got a problem with saggy boobs in your twenties??

and FINALLY, the last category I was NOT nominated in…

Best Commenter.  Um, listen, sometimes I get busy, m’kay?  Sheesh, it’s never enough for you people - is it?  I READ you, all of you, via a feed reader I SWEAR.  Even you.

Oh… I WAS nominated as “Blog You’ll Never Stop Reading.”

Do you know what that means?  Do you?

It means that my plan is working.  I’ve apparently scared the shit out of all of you and you continue to come back because you fear the consequences of dissent.  That’s what it means.

Anyway… not only are there ten categories, but there are about a gazillion nominees in each.  I exaggerate, of course.  There’s only like 43 per category.  And do you know what THAT means?

Yeah.  You better get your ASSES over there and start voting for me. Pronto.  Or there’s no way I’ll earn my first official Blog Award Complete With A Button I Can Put In My Sidebar.  Go on. Shoo.  Vote.  Not voting will be seen as an act of defiance.

If you’re not with us, you’re against us.

Seriously.  Click here and search for Miss Britt and vote for ME.

What?  You were expecting grace and humility?

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Posted in Blogging and Bloggers - Tips, Contests and Stuff for Bloggers