So, I’ve started thinking more about my plan to take over the world.
Seriously.
I’ve come to realize that I cannot achieve true world domination without a broader influence. I need to widen my audience if I’m going to take this brainwashing plan to a global scale.
If you know me, you can hear my marketing wheels clicking and turning and practically see me drumming my fingers.
How… how… how to reach more people….
It cannot be avoided. This blog must become an intricate part of The Master Plan. (Sorry Miss Ann, the personal blog is about to go world-wide-domination weapon tool on your ass)
But, that leaves me with a little problem. See, much as I love you people… you’re really more of a gaggle than a flock. And you’re nowhere near the size of a mass - or, er, masses.
How… how… how to expose my blog to millions of people…
I need to find a niche. All the “big blogs” have niches, right? I mean - you appeal to the mommies, or the daddies, or the left wings or the right wings (and we already know that is a battle I can’t win). You’ve got to pick your pond and then throw your weight around a bit until you’re the biggest damn fish in the joint.
And that’s where I get stuck. I can’t quite figure out my niche.
Like any writer worth their salt - or not, for that matter - I usually “write what I know”. Which is pretty fucking scary. Apparently I “know” a very little about a very lot of mundane, ridiculous things. And while I’ve got the market cornered on the expert of Cottage Cheese Ass, I’m just not sure that pond is big enough to make a difference in The Plan.
I simply CAN NOT give up that easily. The fate of the world is on the line here. PLUS, I hear big bloggers get invited to conferences and parties and get gift baggies and stuff. I’ve never gotten a Because You’re Such A Big Deal Gift Bag before. I’m sure I would love one.
So I must press on. I must keep my eye on the prize and focus on a world filled with gift bag goodies and intelligent cashiers at the checkout line. I have to come up with a feasible marketing scheme. Certainly there is something that I - and this blog - have to offer that could be squeezed into a pigeon-hole for more streamlined marketing.
Do you think there’s a market for people who are impressed by my various uses of the word fuck?
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Absofuckinglutely! When you find the niche, you let me know.
December 5th, 2006 at 10:58 am
I think that your niche should somehow involve nudity.
December 5th, 2006 at 11:49 am
And, now, I’m frightened. Genuinely frightened.
Is there a niche market for Christmas Turkeys?:twisted:
December 5th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
perhaps using the word fuck with pictures,,Oh that would be porn. not good for the kid’s
December 5th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
sure, reaching more people SOUNDS good in theory….but trying to keep up with more people? aye…. I think I’ve reached my maximum world-domination via blog potential!
December 5th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
I, too, am nicheless. I applaud your efforts to find a niche and then get some gift bag goodies. And I am right there with you as you solder on into a world with intelligent cashiers at the checkout line. Such dreams.
December 5th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
Do you think there’s a market for people who are impressed by my various uses of the word fuck?
Abso-fuck-enlutely.
Jeez, I’m learning from you master Britt.
December 5th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
I’m not much for world domination, who needs the responsibility! I could, however, use a niche, theme, whatever. I could also use a margarita.
Unfortunately, I have neither.
I am sad.
December 5th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Is there an opening for the power behind the throne? :twisted:
December 5th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I used to dominate the world. I had to take an early retirement. I was burning out.
December 5th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
Wicked: I’ll put you on my phone tree
avitable: hmmm, there seems to be a lot of competition in that niche already
AmyD: what? :roll:
David: yes, again, too much competition there already I bet
Dawn: yeah, I don’t do a great job of keeping up with everyone. I used to be hounded with guilt about not recommenting, etc. - but now I just read who I want to read. I read lots of blogs that don’t read me back because I LIKE them. I want people to read me for the same reason.
ally bean: you’ve got to BELIEVE before you can ACHIEVE ;-)
Jose918: look at you go, Joe!
Miss Ann: you are so much more level-headed than me. I can’t be bothered with details like “responsibility”, I’m too drunk on the visions of complete power.
Mr. Fab: that depends… is there a contest being rigged in my favor in the near future?
Mist: pussy
December 5th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
Why not start by dominating Iowa. Perfect that, and go from there. You could start as the Iowa Protectorate.
December 6th, 2006 at 12:00 am
I’m with The CEO on that one. I mean, how hard could it be to dominate Iowa? Unless my husband can’t find a job within the next month and we end up having to move back in with Mom and Dad. Eep.
December 6th, 2006 at 12:16 am