My boss has asked me today if I could “take a break from blogging for a bit to train the new girl.”
Pfft. The demands of this job are getting to be a bit ridiculous. But since he did just buy me a brand new video camera, I have agreed to try.
That being said, the new young little thing isn’t here yet so I’ve got a quick moment to give you a progress report.
Yes, my friends, it seems that I am making progress with The Master Plan.
This weekend, while at an itty bitty bar for a friend’s birthday party, there was a bit of a “scuffle”. Said scuffle involved friend’s husband and some other idiot (a label that I’m assuming will keep me off any future witness lists) and, eventually, our Chief of Police.
I don’t know the details of the fight - and really, those details aren’t important. What is important is that in the aftermath my friend found herself in a discussion with the COP (Chief of police…or, um, I guess cop would work too). And somewhere, somehow, at some point in the conversation, this phrase was said…
“Well, what would Britt do?”
Yeah. That’s right. Our COP felt the best counsel he could offer a citizen in trouble was “what would Britt do?”
Let’s just ignore the blasphemous implications here, and focus on the fact that I am starting to make headway in my plan to become the supreme authority on just about everything. I have been telling people for YEARS that if they would just listen to me, and of course do what I say, they would be so much better off. And finally, the general public is starting to come around.
I’m trying not to let this little bit of success go to my head. I must remember that I still have so far too go.
In fact, the party I’m hosting this evening in honor of my new title as Supreme Authority On Anything and Everything (That Happens in BFE Iowa) is going to be extremely understated and tasteful. Humility is so important.
Anyway, back to what this has to do with you…
Dear citizens of the blogosphere, as you struggle through your trials and tribulations today… as you cope with your boss and deal with the daily hardships… when you feel lost and confused and beaten and down-trodden… simply ask yourselves:
“What would Britt do?”
I think I’m going to need to make shirts.
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
RSS Subscribe
I’d buy one of those.
December 18th, 2006 at 11:59 am
And some of those wristband bracelets too: WWBD?
December 18th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
Do you have a mini me yet? You are on your way master Britt. It will be good to have you as my friend once you become the SAOAE.
December 18th, 2006 at 1:18 pm
And bumper stickers!!! You’d have to have bumper stickers. :twisted:
December 18th, 2006 at 1:45 pm
You know magnets rawk!
December 18th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
See? That’s great. Now if only the people here in central Ohio would come to their senses and see that I too am the Supreme Authority On Anything and Everything having to do with perfection, the world would be a better place. :mrgreen:
December 18th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Seeing as how training the new girl is going SO well … :twisted:… your too late. I already did the “W3D?” shirts made up two years ago. BTW… at your current rate of domination… you should reach the east coast by 2067.
Hope you invested in chryo-freezing.
December 18th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
avitable: really? well, you don’t go out much though… so that wouldn’t really help my penetration plan…
jennyryan: absolutely - I love jewelry
Jose918: according to Amy, I do indeed have a mini me ;-)
AmyD: great Idea! Look for them in YOUR cafe press store soon!!
delite: really? Hm, I guess I’ve never had a reason to get excited about magnets until now
Heather: you may have to be eliminated
NYC Watchdog: why do you come here to piss on my parade? This is just the baby steps. Momentum, my friend, momentum.
December 18th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Are teaching the new girl to blog?
December 18th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Mist - not yet. I think it’s too soon. I’ve got to convince her to start smoking first.
December 18th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
you really need to get some WWBD bumper stickers made up. check out CafePress….
December 18th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Tatoos. We’d all get “WWBD” tat, right? Right?
December 18th, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Oh wow…am I going to have to choose between you and Heather?
Who to pledge my loyalty to?
December 18th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
That is awesome! I want Britt franchise rights for the first Virginia store.
December 18th, 2006 at 10:15 pm
I won’t go the cheap and easy route and say “I’ve got a penetration plan for you”.
Oh wait. I just did.
December 18th, 2006 at 11:58 pm
You crack me up Brit.
And I’d like my shirt in black please. I’m running low on those.
December 19th, 2006 at 10:25 am
Dawn: yeah, I’m thinking in my spare time I just might do that.
Wicked: oh yes, the members of my private counsels would have to get branded - er, um - tats.
Mr. Fab: far be it from me to try to sway your loyalties. By the way, did I ever tell you that story about how when competition is eliminated, their followers go too? I didn’t tell you that one yet? Hm. I’ll have to post that one soon.
WanderingGirl: fair enough!
avitable: you’re welcome
J. : absolutely - you have to always keep listening to the people, you know. Black it is.
December 19th, 2006 at 10:42 am
I thought I was being all original & was gonna suggest those rubber bracelets & put WWBD? on them. But shit…
December 19th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
I’d like the rest of the Eastern Seaboard. I’ll work with Wandering Girl.
December 19th, 2006 at 11:50 pm