After all of these years, it seems I have finally broken my husband’s spirit, along with his faith in mankind. Or, er, womankind anyway.
Last night, he crawls into bed beside me and begins frantically feeling around for all of the extra blankets and sheets, as he does every night. I never have time to make the bed in the morning, and so it is inevitable that a few of the layers are still crumpled at the bottom of the bed each night.
Him: where is the damn sheet? and that extra blanket?
Me, already half asleep: mm… i don’t know honey…
Him: uh huh, it was on here last night. and they were both still here this morning I’m pretty sure.
Me: yeah, still don’t know babe….
Him: uh huh, you probably have them over there, don’t you? don’t you?!
Me: dammit. You’ve uncovered my masterplan. It was genius too…
Him: I knew it!
Me: shit, well, I’ve been foiled honey, way to go. Now I’ll never be able to carry out my plan to take over the world
Him: LOL, yeah, what the hell would you do with control of the world?
Me: well first I’d start with all the stupid people, then…
Him: Holy shit. You’re serious. Like… you’d actually play this out!
*blink* *blink*
And now I’m awake.
Me: are you serious? have you met me? of course I have a plan for world domination. Now anyway, the stupid people. See, I have this island theory…
Him: Oh. my. God. You’re serious. You’re, like, evil. You’re like… the bad guy in Batman.
At which point he rolled over, whimpering something into his pillow about Gotham being a good city, and corruption and, well, I didn’t really catch the rest of it.
It’s amazing. Of all the horrible things I’ve said and done in the last ten years, this is the thing that finally breaks him.
*SIGH*
I guess I’m going to have to redesign the his-and-her bathrooms in the lair.
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Posted in Dignity Is Overrated - Funny and Embarrassing Stories Tagged: conversations, taking over the world, World domination
Who doesn’t have a plan for world domination?
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Eventually, you’ll have to write a book. You know that, don’t you?
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Well, doesn’t matter what it took… At least you broke him…. :twisted:
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Never reveal your plans to take over the world.
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I’ve never put much thought into world domination, not sure I’d know what to do with it.
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Wow, thank God I’m unbreakable because I’m made of stone combined with steel. Anyway you world dominatrix I posted a picture of you on my blog when you get a chance go check it out.
Have a terrific Thanksgiving and don’t start dominating the world until after Christmas ok.
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Men are so funny. That makes me miss having one around. Then I think about all the stealing of my side of the bed and the snoring, and having to share one of my pillows and well…nevermind.
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damn, and I thought my grocery store ideas were clever.
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I’ll give you the World, just give me the NY Fed please.
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Miss Britt…I love your page!! You Rock, but you know that don’t you? That’s what makes you cool as hell!! Anywho, you are one of my new best friends because you make me laugh. Feel free to email me anytime and keep in touch. And if you have a second you can check out my MySpace page and read all about me…you know you want to because people as cool as us have to stick together, right? LOL Have a great day and yes, I want all the stupid people to go to a island far far far away from me!!
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omg
are you crazy!!!!!
im tacking over the world!!!
not YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!! lol !!!
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