OK, so, moving on…
…and more specifically, I am. “How?” you may ask…
How Miss Britt Gets Over…Anything, Really
Step 1 - Immediately go out and buy Stuff:
Anything really, it doesn’t matter. Sunday I spent about $400 between Menard’s and Wal-Mart. Somewhere between the chandelier, sandpaper, tampons and the greatest fucking lipstick in the entire world… I found my shell beginning to crack.
Step 2 - Did I mention the greatest fucking lipstick in the entire world?
Yeah. Really. I have spent YEARS searching for lipstick that stays on past my first morning smoke. I’ve tried all the fancy schmancy shit and nothing has worked. Until now. I even tried taking a picture of my lips last night when I realized that they were STILL beautimous - but, well, they may have been beautimous but apparently they aren’t photoblog-worthy beautimous. So. Anyway…
Step 3 - “Of course you can give me a foot massage”
Yeah, like any girl in her right mind is going to turn that down. Plus, I mean, my shell had been cracked already and he was hanging my new chandelier, and I was already a little giddy about the whole glorious lips thing. And it was the best damn pedicure I’ve ever gotten - free or otherwise.
Step 4 - A heartfelt “You’re my everything, baby”
*sigh* OK. Hmm. When you say it like that, all sincere and genuine and yet still somehow grown up and mature and not all creepy teenage boy… well, mmm, eh, what was I mad about again?
Step 5 - (fellas, plug your ears… or uh… close your eyes if you get all wierd about periods and whatnot) Yeah. It finally started.
Uh huh. All that other shit aside, nothing takes away the angry haze like the END of PMS.
(Which reminds me, I need a kick ass word to describe it like Garbage Week. I hate it when the good pseudonyms are fucking taken.)
Anyway… yeah… so… it is maybe a tiny bit possible that what would have usually inspired a ticked off “look” and a “you’re fucking kidding me, right? are you out of your damn mind?”… well, when fueled by the fires of hell that are PMS, umm… maybe could have lead to a more “intense” response. I mean, I was still ticked and definitely earned the apology I received - but one retarded ass mistake does not change everything I know to be true about a man. Well, unless you’ve got PMS.
So anyway, I’m good. My chandelier is wonderful, my lips are luciously tinted, and my husband is probably wondering how in the hell he managed to find himself married to such an instable, mood swinging psycho - but right now he’s too scared to wonder aloud.
Ah… peace.
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Congratulations!!!! You better send pics of the new chandelier. Seriously!!!
Hope you guys have a great Halloween!
October 31st, 2006 at 9:46 am
And here I am thinking you were going to kill him. He is one lucky fellow then. Plus the hartfelt apology must have done the trick.
October 31st, 2006 at 10:01 am
Good for you! PMS fucking sucks. Men will never understand what we go through when we’re on an emotional roller coaster.
October 31st, 2006 at 10:29 am
You tried to take a picture of your own lips? You must post that!
October 31st, 2006 at 10:41 am
my favorite euphamism so far? (feel free to steal) “Closed for Maintainance” sometimes with a “monthly” added in, but really, it works whenever you need to take a little break or you have “woman issues” Men understand maintainance issues.
October 31st, 2006 at 1:05 pm
What? You are not going to share the brand of the lipstick????
WHATEVER!
October 31st, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Well what fucking brand is it?
October 31st, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Do you hear an echo…pfft!
Sorry didn’t realize Wicked H had already said that. I think your blog is sending me blonde vibes..
October 31st, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Not garbage week? How about “safari week?”
October 31st, 2006 at 2:50 pm
WTF? What happened to my comment? Anyway, I said that it sounds like you’re coping well, and I want to know the brand of lipstick, too!
October 31st, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Go out and buy stuff - it really makes you feel better? I have to go try that.
Happy Halloween!!!:twisted:
October 31st, 2006 at 3:51 pm
Buying stuff is the best mental help I’ve ever received. Well, except for the electro shock therapy. That was pretty good too.
October 31st, 2006 at 4:55 pm
AmyD: I will - camera died this morning or you’d already have them!
Jose918: murder? me??? :roll:
Dawn: LOL, keeps them on their toes though, doesn’t it?
avitable: I’ve just been inspired… stay tuned
Ginamonster: LOL, yeah, I may have to use that
Wicked H: i have to give you a reason to come back - right?
Delite: see response to wicked. Blonde vibes. Pfft!
Joe:ROTFLMAO - like, complete with wild jungle beasts? he he he
Barb: hmm… strange, disappearing posts - maybe it’s a halloween thing…
Bella: Oh My Goodness YES! There’s no therapy like shopping therapy
Mist 1: I stand corrected. Apparently shopping is tied with electro shock treatment.
October 31st, 2006 at 5:44 pm
I’m glad everything worked out so well for you.
October 31st, 2006 at 11:31 pm